Appropriate is not a 4 letter word.
Release yourself of this. Why? I’ll show you, here.
When we hear the word “appropriate”, many of us conjure up cringe moments from t.v. like Larry David’s, “Bare Midriff episode (season 7, episode 6), or the uptight traditional (insert here: Country Club Director, mom, judgey neighbor) giving the firm dictate on what can or can’t be worn or just simply the sigh and disapproving eye roll. We’re all grown ups here, and yes, the t.v. series are funny, and (hopefully) you’ve learned to navigate or dismiss the mom’s comments or the pesky neighbor’s opinions. But this doesn’t mean the desire, the often the very real physical need, to be appropriate doesn’t exist. It just means it often comes in a more nuanced form than this scene from Legally Blonde:
Where am I wearing this, will I fit in without blending in, will I still feel like myself? I think about this a lot when Traci and I create each new collection. I think about it when Sarah and I are working on the styling, when Keturah and I are working through each piece for Style Class or when I’m huddled with the creative team planning our campaigns.
And I especially think about it when I’m DM’d, asking for context around our styling and more (practical or exciting) options that will expand their ideas for where to wear.
So when we talk about the “perfect item/outfit”, the concept of “perfect” can not be viewed in a vacuum. Because we do not live in a vacuum - we reside and thrive in a world with changing scenery, unforeseen events, and daily presented opportunities. Our perfect outfits are when we’ve taken in to consideration our surroundings, what may or may not occur, and left ourselves open for chance.
Because sometimes there’s appropriate for you literally in that moment of time, and age - but then there’s “appropriate” for what you hope will come your way. Example - straight out of college I bought a professional wardrobe (3 suits, varied shirts, a few shoe options - $4,000 in debt to Visa) for my internship at Ogilvy Advertising. When the American Express client arrived and the Ogilvy execs needed support, I was brought straight into the conference room. Me. That left three intern colleagues sitting on the bench - all highly talented but dressed in variations of weekend wear and beach dresses. They weren’t dressed “inappropriately” - they were all younger interns after all and it was a creative environment - but they weren’t dressed for the opportunity or the next step. I went on to work for American Express, met my husband there, moved to Hong Kong, started Tibi, and now I sit here writing this stack on the train to NYC. Was it all because of the right suit? Being ready for the moment when it hit rather than waiting for the moment to get ready? What would have happened had I not been part of that first meeting????? Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow is a favorite movie of mine that explores this….a good weekend lazy film, so you know.
When looking for items that are (practical, functional, appropriate) it’s important to think about what inspires you, what will push you and at the same time allow you to dial back. When we create our campaigns, this is my mantra I push on to Reed, Derek and Sarah. Creativity pushed within boundaries to me is the ultimate fulfillment. It’s an intellectual balance between what can be created with what should be created.
Creativity is what fuels us at Tibi but I never want to take so far as to confuse our intent - what we create is meant to be worn. Worn in a wide range of locales. Appropriately.
For example:
The Campaign, The Runway, The Location Shoot
Someone sent me a question recently, and it has everything to do with “appropriate.” In this case appropriate is not tethered to religion, culture or business tropes but rather to wanting to feel right in the moment and on the same wavelength as those around you.
“I work at a creative agency. I have a new boss - she’s young and word is she’s quite conservative. Not sure what to wear here. Help”
My answer:
We often think about layering as options for comfort moving from locale to locale (subway to office) or for navigating a range of temperatures. What is rarely discussed is the role layering can play for creating different vibes that can be leaned in to or pulled back from, depending on the situation. We’ve all been there, right? The party that seemed it would be so fancy, you show up full out and everyone around you is seriously chill in faded jeans. You feel like a Christmas ornament on a hayride. After these moments, you can sometimes vow that next time you’ll hedge your bets by playing it safe. That in between that ultimately, you find, has not point of view and dulls your energy. In these situations, if you could have manipulated one or two pieces that could have changed the vibe, you would have been settled. You would have moved on to just enjoying yourself, no over explaining the reason for the long dress and pumps “when I got invited I thought….” or just the cloying awkwardness of the unspoken.
So, layering through a new lens. For vibe shift. You want to be able to quickly button a jacket up further if the new boss walks in uptight AF. Conversely, if she’s super chill and you want to connect on that level, pushing a sleeve up to highlight interesting jewelry and keeping that bag in the line of visions are all the ways we send out messages to each other about our personal style, and consequently, how we view ourselves.
Specific ideas are here:
All of the items above have a point of view without boxing you in.
The teeshirt, this is one I picked up in Antwerp - there’s a reason WHY I’m wearing it but tucked under the blazer I’ve hedged my bets without looking non-commital. If the new boss comes in full on casual, I’m sliding the blazer off and letting these puppies out in all their glory.
The jeans here - they’re dark, they’ve refined with trouser details, the ultimate swing item that plays both sides of the field.
The shoes here - they’re flat and a bit open in the back, but no one’s confused me for heading for the beach. The anklet gives personality but it’s not like I’ve tattooed my cheek - it’s a statement, but hardly a screech.
The dog ring (this one is from Francesca Villa), it’s one of the favorite pieces I own - finding a piece that balances luxury with whimsy speaks to what I love - seek out pieces that do that for you in your own way. They say a lot about who you are, to you - they’re a reminder of things you love and it’s personal. I also love shopping vintage for these special pieces.
The tote - this is one of the easiest places to lean in to creativity without overpowering what you’re giving off if the new boss walks in uptight as F. The Comme one is available on EBay right now - I’ve worn mine to shreds.
You’re probably starting to recognize that the items you wear the most are those that not only can go 12 months out of the year, or from play to dinner to work, but that can also morph highly creative or more conservative depending on the occasion. Add this to your checklist when making future purchases. Not everything has to or can hit on all these marks, of course. But when they do, you know you’ve found something from which you’ll derive value. Lot’s of it.
So remember, appropriate is often about moving along in society, in your job, in your life. It’s about knowing the time and place for everything but finding ways to maintain your sense of self throughout. Thinking about layering through this new lens, to pivot when needed, to lean harder or back when the opportunity affords itself, is a good thing.
Right?
Thank you for featuring our Panklet aka red and white paracord anklet www.petiteChou.com.au