In your high-school yearbook, a superlative sits beneath your photo that reads, “Most Fashionable.” If five of your closest friends were asked to share one thing about you, they would unanimously agree that you’re a true fashion enthusiast. Your closet is a treasure trove filled with the latest pieces, tokens sourced from the likes of TikTok Shop, to the most coveted runway collections. Yet, when your eyes flitter over the countless hangers in your wardrobe—many of which represent a sizeable portion of your hard-earned income—you find yourself texting your friend that you’re going to be 20 minutes late to dinner. Despite the sheer abundance of options you’ve accumulated, your heart sinks—yet again, you feel as though you have nothing to wear. Later that evening—frustrated and discouraged—you crawl into bed and open your phone to browse your favorite shopping app. You purchase two new shirts because they are seemingly the salve to your lack of pieces that feel like you. But a week later, you find yourself standing in front of your closet—pantsless and rushed—wondering why those shirts haven’t solved the deeper issue. If this vicious cycle sounds familiar to you, you’ve been catfished by consumption.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term catfish, or didn’t watch MTV in 2012, I’m not talking about the stout-bodied, scaleless bony freshwater fish. I’m talking about a different kind of catfish. Merriam-Webster defines it as:
Catfish [noun]
: a person who sets up a false personal profile on a social networking site for fraudulent or deceptive purposes.
Hang in there with me for a moment. I’m not suggesting you’ve been talking to "Steve from Malibu" on MySpace for six months—only to discover that "Steve" is actually John from Minnesota. Instead, you’ve found yourself in a full-on relationship with consumption. You feel a sense of urgency to read every trend report you come across, utterly convinced that you truly need all those trendy pieces. And when the “trendy” pieces were actually billed as “quiet luxury non-trendy trendy pieces” you fell extra hard. And when they were found at store names that don’t share their parent’s last names (Zara and H&M), but are their offspring none the less, you thought “how bad could this really be?” The result? Hundreds—maybe even thousands—of dollars spent, and countless hours wasted scrolling online consuming content roasting you for the jean you bought last year followed by the new pair you’ll need this year, and why the shoes you bought three months ago are tired, even when their soles are fully intact. The growing mound of clothing that you simply don’t have room for is only getting larger, and more irritating to look at. And you still don’t know what your personal style is. If your cheeks are starting to feel warm and you notice a cold sweat forming on your forehead while reading this, don’t panic—the cycle can end here!
There’s a reason Creative Pragmatists rely on Three Adjectives to define their style. Amy began using Three Adjectives to describe her style back in 2019—Chill, Modern, Classic. It was meant to captain the pieces that flowed in and out of her wardrobe, as well as the looks that graced Tibi’s runway. She was still emerging from an era in which big department stores dominated the market, and she was decidedly finished creating designs that she didn’t love just because a buyer told her that if she made that shift dress five inches shorter and in a yellow cotton poplin, it would sell better. What began as a method to streamline her collections quickly became a phenomenon that would enable people to discover their personal style, and in turn, break up with over-consumption.
Break-ups are challenging—we know. But remember, you’re hardly alone. Your Three Adjectives will be your new companion to help you build a wardrobe that reflects who you are, free from the external noise pressuring you to buy the newest and “hottest” thing. To discover your own Three Adjectives, spend some time with yourself and try this exercise:
Take a moment to reflect on your values, interests, and the unique qualities that define who you are at your core. What qualities do you admire in others? What feelings do certain pieces evoke in you? What does your real life look like?
Write down a list of adjectives that resonate with you. Look carefully and identify any synonyms and patterns. If you ve written effortless, eased out and relaxed consolidate that to one word If you find yourself writing ‘Laid-back,’ ‘Fresh,’ and ‘Heritage,’ your adjectives are probably Chill, Modern, and Classic.
Make sure you’re writing adjectives. No nouns like decades, movie stars or inanimate objects like racecars.
Your Modifier is the one word you want to always feel and or that you want people to know about you. Only you can answer this one. And it may take time. And that’s okay.
I’ll use myself as an example. As a twenty-something in my fashion career in New York City, my life is dynamic and requires a practical yet creative wardrobe. The three scenarios I encounter most are the office, date nights with my boyfriend, and outings with my girlfriends. Each moment demands pieces that let me transition smoothly while staying true to myself. As a Creative Pragmatist, my Three Adjectives are Chill, Modern, and Classic. My Modifier is Rooted. What this means is that while I am still young, my prefrontal cortex isn’t so soft and mushy anymore. I’m highly curious and open-minded but I also have a firm grasp on the values that I hold dear—values shaped by my upbringing, the places I’ve lived, and the love I have for the people in my life. This is the essence that I want to convey through my clothing. My go-to recipe is a pair of interesting denim, a really good blazer, an ironic take on a classic shoe, and subtle but highly personal details like my favorite necklaces (both special gifts—one from my brother, and one from my boyfriend) tied around my favorite bag. With a swap of a shoe, this easily takes me to Play, Dinner, and Work with ease.
Now that you get the gist, it’s time to see how your Three Adjectives can guide your clothing choices and help you identify pieces that embody your personal style. Paying close attention to design details is key—a strange cut-out in an otherwise classic sweater, a chilled-out wash in a sculptural denim silhouette—once you train your eye to see these nuances, you can’t unsee them.
Below, you'll find five pairs of jeans. Four of them align with the CMC criteria (Chill, Modern, Classic), while one does not. You might wonder, “How can four pairs meet CMC when they look so different?” That’s exactly my point. A wardrobe that embodies your Three Adjectives doesn’t mean all of your clothes will look the same. Defining your adjectives allows you to explore various shapes, colors, and fabrics while still feeling like yourself. This approach not only brings cohesion to your wardrobe but can also lead to more mindful purchasing, helping you buy less in the long run.
We see the same thing here with sweaters. If you don’t know your Three Adjectives and a trend report tells you, “This is the sweater you need to get Carolyn Bessette Kennedy’s Classic Chic Style,” it’s easy to be tricked into thinking the fourth sweater will work for you. But Carolyn Bessette Kennedy was not so one-dimensional, and neither are you. Check. Those. Boxes.
Is it any surprise that this rings true for footwear, as well? Hopefully by now you wouldn’t need the check boxes to be able to identify the codes of Chill, Modern, and Classic throughout this selection.
Ultimately, discovering your Three Adjectives is not just about finding cooler/cuter/better clothing—it’s about redefining your relationship with fashion. When you know who you are on the inside, and you have the vocabulary to communicate that on the outside, you will find that you move through life with a lot more ease.
I wish I had received this wisdom about 30 years ago! Once you understand it, it’s so obvious, and it’s not like there’s been a shortage of people claiming to know exactly how to help you build a wardrobe! Now I’m going to introduce my daughters to the world of Tibi - so they learn to invest wisely ❤️
Oooo interesting - I thought Alison bornstein had invented the 3 words!