Ok I am going to be very transparent ....up until about 10 years ago I was always getting second "looks" from men definitely and more than not insecure jealous women. I cared for way too long what I needed to wear to solicit the appropriate compliment since clothing and style were so connected to what I did and who I was. The looks are virtually no more....and I don't care.....I AM FREE........I still dress with a specific and unique attitude but most importantly I need to feel physically comfortable and confident. Maybe this is part of aging but I do know when I speak people listen, and that friends has not a thing to do with how I look but what years of observing, absorbing, and being open have taught me. Go whine somewhere else that you are invisible......perhaps you aren't what you once were, but hate to use a cliche.......I am aging like a fine wine ...........Do Not Whine.....keep being relevant .......FU to AI developed primarily by men
I’m 70 and although I don’t dress or act my age, the silver hair gives me away. My invisibility is real but situational. It can be dispiriting but I have learned to use it to my advantage. You can get away with a lot when you are invisible.
I will be 69 next week and have always felt seen. Partly because of the way I dress ( and young people, both men and women, compliment my SId jeans every time!) but also partly that I have taken my own advice that I have given to the people who have worked for me “ to take up space in the world”🙃
I am almost 56 and don’t feel the slightest bit invisible. And I decidedly cannot say this is because I’ve had such an impressive career. Clothes really help me out on this front, as does my actual personality.
I turn 60 this year. I have been at least fairly conventionally attractive in my youth (not a stunner but I always got male attention until about my mid 50s). I suspect that stopping coloring my hair during the pandemic has made me look much more “my age.”
Thing is, I’m an introvert, but also one who can and will play extrovert in certain situations when I want or need to. I speak in public, I can hold my own well at gatherings, etc. So I kind of feel like I can be as invisible as I like, depending on mood and situation. Some of this is because I can work particular aspects of my style, and of my personality. It’s great to have options that allow me to feel a bit more chameleon-like, or to stand out when I do want to be noticed or given attention!
I wonder if the foundational ideas of CP, and knowing who I am, translate to better seeing myself, and therefore makes it less likely for me to feel invisible. Truth-If I can see myself, then I am never invisible.
I loved that you brought this up. I feel I may be a bit of an outlier? But also, maybe not. I recently turned 34 but I look much younger. I'm conventionally "beautiful" - blonde hair, blue eyes, size 2- all that (I'm really not trying to sound like an asshole here) and I still get looks by men and women everywhere I go. All my life I have absolutely benefited by being "pretty" but bared the weight of not being taken seriously even though I graduated with over a 4.0 and am educated. Admittedly I do like the confidence boost (usually) because I know it wont last forever. I'm no C-suite exec or CEO or highly successful entrepreneur like most Tibi customers, but I do hold a position of some power managing about 20-25 people (mostly men) all who are much older than me. And I'm set to take over the company in 5-10 years. I live in small town Alaska which also probably plays a part in this. No one seems to take me seriously. It's so difficult for me to tell these guys what to do, or if there's an issue - talk about it with them. They are all very kind to me so long as I..."toe the line"? Don't boss them around? But they're all more than happy to come to me to help solve their problems instead of our 65 year old male boss lol. It's gotten a little better after being in this position for 2 years. I've certainly gotten more respect, but not by much. It's also very important to me I earn peoples respect, not demand it. It's one example where looking young, and being "pretty" has been a difficult obstacle. Admittedly I used to play into that role through my 20s, it was usually to my benefit. I didn't see much worth I had outside my looks until I got older so it's been a journey.
I'm embarrassed I'm even commenting because re-reading this I know I sound like a stuck up asshole who is full of herself but that's absolutely not my intention. Any advice or insight to someone on the opposite side of the spectrum? By the way- just got your second book and I love it!
Ok. You don’t sound “Stuck ups’. It’s silly not to say the obvious when something is just incontrovertible. It’s funny I obviously work with lots of models. And a while back a model was putting on a piece of my line and I said wow that looks so beautiful in you I really think you should get it. And she said “everything looks beautiful on me. So when I decide to buy something it has to be about more than that. ‘. Now on to the question. Keep being great at what you do and being direct. Your “barrier” to be taking seriously is looks, and they’re overcome by actions, over time. You’re already seeing the results of that. The good news is everyone has a barrier to overcome. At least my 36 years in business now -Tibi and Amex and Ogilvy - confirm this is true. Each had our battle to wage- the great thing is your battle isn’t smarts or attitude. So you’re way ahead of the game.
Ok I am going to be very transparent ....up until about 10 years ago I was always getting second "looks" from men definitely and more than not insecure jealous women. I cared for way too long what I needed to wear to solicit the appropriate compliment since clothing and style were so connected to what I did and who I was. The looks are virtually no more....and I don't care.....I AM FREE........I still dress with a specific and unique attitude but most importantly I need to feel physically comfortable and confident. Maybe this is part of aging but I do know when I speak people listen, and that friends has not a thing to do with how I look but what years of observing, absorbing, and being open have taught me. Go whine somewhere else that you are invisible......perhaps you aren't what you once were, but hate to use a cliche.......I am aging like a fine wine ...........Do Not Whine.....keep being relevant .......FU to AI developed primarily by men
in misogynistic society's..........xxxs
Thank you for this!
I’m 70 and although I don’t dress or act my age, the silver hair gives me away. My invisibility is real but situational. It can be dispiriting but I have learned to use it to my advantage. You can get away with a lot when you are invisible.
Oh I love this !!!!!
I will be 69 next week and have always felt seen. Partly because of the way I dress ( and young people, both men and women, compliment my SId jeans every time!) but also partly that I have taken my own advice that I have given to the people who have worked for me “ to take up space in the world”🙃
I am almost 56 and don’t feel the slightest bit invisible. And I decidedly cannot say this is because I’ve had such an impressive career. Clothes really help me out on this front, as does my actual personality.
I turn 60 this year. I have been at least fairly conventionally attractive in my youth (not a stunner but I always got male attention until about my mid 50s). I suspect that stopping coloring my hair during the pandemic has made me look much more “my age.”
Thing is, I’m an introvert, but also one who can and will play extrovert in certain situations when I want or need to. I speak in public, I can hold my own well at gatherings, etc. So I kind of feel like I can be as invisible as I like, depending on mood and situation. Some of this is because I can work particular aspects of my style, and of my personality. It’s great to have options that allow me to feel a bit more chameleon-like, or to stand out when I do want to be noticed or given attention!
I wonder if the foundational ideas of CP, and knowing who I am, translate to better seeing myself, and therefore makes it less likely for me to feel invisible. Truth-If I can see myself, then I am never invisible.
I loved that you brought this up. I feel I may be a bit of an outlier? But also, maybe not. I recently turned 34 but I look much younger. I'm conventionally "beautiful" - blonde hair, blue eyes, size 2- all that (I'm really not trying to sound like an asshole here) and I still get looks by men and women everywhere I go. All my life I have absolutely benefited by being "pretty" but bared the weight of not being taken seriously even though I graduated with over a 4.0 and am educated. Admittedly I do like the confidence boost (usually) because I know it wont last forever. I'm no C-suite exec or CEO or highly successful entrepreneur like most Tibi customers, but I do hold a position of some power managing about 20-25 people (mostly men) all who are much older than me. And I'm set to take over the company in 5-10 years. I live in small town Alaska which also probably plays a part in this. No one seems to take me seriously. It's so difficult for me to tell these guys what to do, or if there's an issue - talk about it with them. They are all very kind to me so long as I..."toe the line"? Don't boss them around? But they're all more than happy to come to me to help solve their problems instead of our 65 year old male boss lol. It's gotten a little better after being in this position for 2 years. I've certainly gotten more respect, but not by much. It's also very important to me I earn peoples respect, not demand it. It's one example where looking young, and being "pretty" has been a difficult obstacle. Admittedly I used to play into that role through my 20s, it was usually to my benefit. I didn't see much worth I had outside my looks until I got older so it's been a journey.
I'm embarrassed I'm even commenting because re-reading this I know I sound like a stuck up asshole who is full of herself but that's absolutely not my intention. Any advice or insight to someone on the opposite side of the spectrum? By the way- just got your second book and I love it!
Ok. You don’t sound “Stuck ups’. It’s silly not to say the obvious when something is just incontrovertible. It’s funny I obviously work with lots of models. And a while back a model was putting on a piece of my line and I said wow that looks so beautiful in you I really think you should get it. And she said “everything looks beautiful on me. So when I decide to buy something it has to be about more than that. ‘. Now on to the question. Keep being great at what you do and being direct. Your “barrier” to be taking seriously is looks, and they’re overcome by actions, over time. You’re already seeing the results of that. The good news is everyone has a barrier to overcome. At least my 36 years in business now -Tibi and Amex and Ogilvy - confirm this is true. Each had our battle to wage- the great thing is your battle isn’t smarts or attitude. So you’re way ahead of the game.